Simon Mayo announced on Radio 2 that the government had passed a new law. You could marry a second time if you had the consent of your spouse.
Darren asked me, ever the gentleman, if he could marry an ex; someone he had been madly in love with. And me being me, I said Yes, If you want to. Of course I didn't actually expect him to go ahead with it.
But he did. It was after the wedding and time to welcome the bride to her new house. This new bride was the CBeebies presenter Cerrie Burnell but she had both her arms.
And for some reason her welcome was a traditional Indian welcome for an Indian bride. I hadn't had the traditional Indian welcome, why the hell was she??? There were all her relatives. All Indian aunties.
I could see Darren and this Cerrie all loved up and hated every minute of it. Tanisha was sitting next to me and spitting venom at her. At one point Cerrie went off to change her sari and walked past us looking really bad. And Tanisha in true form said, "Aga tila idea ahe ka ti kiti ghaan distiye?!" and I said, "Shh, tila marathi kalta!"
Tanisha: Does she have any idea how bad she's looking!?
Me: Shh, she understands Marathi!
Throughout, Tanisha didn't actually say it but I could hear her thinking, "How could you let this happen Ruch?"
And then the ladies asked me for some kumkum (vermillion) to put in a thali (plate) to welcome the bride. And I used to have a huge bag of it somewhere. I look everywhere and just cannot find it. The ladies stare at me as if I'm the bad one to not be happy for Darren and his new wife.
Anyway, they all go out of the front door, including Tanisha, to start the proceedings and I just can't take it any more. I go upstairs to our bedroom, crying my eyes out. Sobbing loudly.
The house is exactly as it is right now. But there are diyas on the stairs.
Random wedding clothes in the back bedroom. As I reach the landing I make up
my mind to tell Darren I would sleep in the back bedroom from now. That he can
come to me when he wanted. Woke up crying.